I am a strong believer in fate and destiny. (And a multitude of mushy romantic stuff that has nothing to do with this post.) and I like to think from the day we are born the stars/Fates/whatever have already chosen those we are supposed to meet. But I also believe in free will. Meaning that our choices affect how/when/why we are going to meet these people. Because everyone that comes into our lives teaches us something whether it's good or bad. We are all students and we are all teachers.
As fate would have it I was lucky enough to meet Jamie. My warm/fun/kind therapist who has made a huge impact on my life. If you know me well, you know just how shy I am. For a little while, anyway. You know it's hard for me to open up until I really know and trust you. With Jamie though, the connection was instant. There are very few people I've been that comfortable with that quickly. I mean, sometimes I do get a little tongue-tied but I'm like that with people I've know for years :)
But the thing with eating disorders is that they change your relationships and rarely for the better. But with Jamie, even as I was getting worse (the first time) our bond grew stronger. And every time I gave up on myself, and felt like everyone else did to, she was there to remind me that I'm not and never will be, alone. And for that I am truly grateful. Even now, as I'm falling harder and faster down that damn rabbit hole, she's fighting tooth and nail to get me to keep fighting. And her encouragement is what is keeping me from completely giving up.
We often joke about how we have "three differences" when it's really probably more like five ;) it's kind of crazy to think just how similar we really are. Of course, this bond makes us wish we had met under different circumstances. And since I believe I was always supposed to meet Jamie, I often wonder how we would've met had I not developed this problem. While I do wish our relationship was not the therapist-client kind, I am thankful she is the one supporting me. I can't imagine where I would be if it had been somebody else.
So, Jamie, this post is for you. My way of thanking you for all of the support you've given me over the past year. And no matter what happens or where my current path takes me. I will always cherish our time together and all that you have taught me. And one day when I FINALLY defeat this monster we will have the biggest celebration, because no matter where I may be currently, I know with your support I will get to the other side of this.
So, here's to a year of progress and changes. And many more (positive ones) to come.
HAPPY THERIP-AVERSARY!
*Hugs*
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