Puzzle Pieces

It's funny what you find when you look hard enough. I have discovered that no matter the age you're constantly leaving pieces of yourself wherever you go. I drive by the hospital I was born in on my way to school and next to that is the park where I had my first birthday. I don't remember these times but the pictures show a lot. And I can visit those places and feel a sense of comfort.

A family I babysit for lives just up the road from where I spent the first six years of my life; I've driven by old house numerous times. The house is different, very different. 13 years of different ownerships and tragedies change things. Despite these changes I can still see the puzzle pieces left behind; the pool I swam daily in, the carpet I took my first steps and played on, and my room with my first "big girl bed".

For a place I lived in for such a short time I am amazed at the amount of those puzzle pieces I find: the field where we discovered soccer was not my thing (but I was very good at picking flowers), the dance studio where we discovered that dance was also not my thing, the children's museum (my favorite place), probably the worlds smallest zoo, the beach where I played for hours, my elementary school that I visit daily because of babysitting duties, and I am sure there are more at the places I haven't even visited yet. 

Then there are the pieces that stay with you, hidden until a sudden memory brings them bursting out. For me it can happen when somebody mentions a potato bug and I immediately remember the poem my mom used to tell us or while rocking out with the kids to Pandora and Down by the Bay comes on, or, even better, You are my Sunshine which my grandmother sang to me constantly. I find these the most startling pieces of the puzzle to find because you don't know what is going to trigger those flashbacks and feelings, but I so love it when it happens.

I love finding these puzzle pieces, they bring a sense of calm to my crazy world. I love when I drop the munchkins off at school and see that it really hasn't changed. 

By no means have I found myself. I still feel hopelessly lost but maybe by finding the pieces to the puzzle I am slowly finding myself.