Lost

I am a master at getting lost. Not only while driving or attempting to get anywhere I've never been, sometimes even in parking lots. But lately it's more than just being physically lost I feel like I've lost myself as well. I feel like It put me on auto-pilot and when it malfunctioned and I asked for help I was left in mid-air with It pulling me down further and my angels trying to pull me up.

That's why I get so mad that people think I'm choosing this, I would love to be able to turn this off. Because not only am I losing myself I am losing a lot of other things. I can't watch one of my favorite munchkins until I'm better. I can't concentrate in school. I can barely stand up without wanting to fall over some days. And not to mention that not eating makes it easier to get physically lost as well. Turning down the wrong street when you're going somewhere you've been a hundred times or going to the wrong gas station where you know they don't have the "right" coffee.

I'm trying so desperately to stop myself from falling any further and getting even more lost. But sometimes I have to stop because getting back on track is tough, especially when I have so many voices telling me a hundred ways to go.