But on Wednesday my therapist gave me a challenge, to weigh myself once a day, I failed Thursday but only weighed in a handful of times and I did OK yesterday though I did step on and off it a few times but didn't weigh myself any other times after my morning step on, step off routine. But yesterday I also made myself a promise, a promise that I would try and go an entire day without weighing myself, after all my upcoming challenge will be to weigh myself only once a week (do you know how terrifying that sounds?!) Well I saw the scale sitting there, in its place next to the shelf that holds the ungodly amount of beauty products and hairbrushes and bows that I own. And it was so tempting to get on it, and I was panicking because I just knew the number was going to be MASSIVE after all I was feeling quite whale-ish. So I did what any "normal" person would do; I picked up the scale and told my dad he needed to hide it. And the best part was that he just took it. He didn't act like I was being dramatic or silly or anything like that. He simply said he would do it. Which made everything that much easier.
Of course I'm now laying here kind of freaking out because I don't know how much I weigh, though it must be close to 200lbs. But I'm also relieved because what if the number is no longer 101, what if my scale says 102? How would that affect me? I was already skating on thin ice with my low(ish) weight and I was so close to being put in the hospital. I got lucky though, my blood tests were normal. I want them to stay like that. And I sincerely hope that by hiding the scale and getting used to not having it around to mock me and tempt me will help.
After all, scales only tell a small part of the story.
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