If you know me at all you know how much I hate math and anything involving numbers but here I am obsessed with numbers on scales and in food. And I can't help but wonder how somebody who has always avoided numbers could become so enthralled.
I don't have a goal weight, I would like to be under 100 which is not good, I know this. Maybe I didn't pick one because I knew I wouldn't be happy when I got to 95, I would want 90 and the number would go lower as I reached each goal. I just want to look in the mirror and not hate what I see. Which I know comes from changing my mind not from changing the number on the scale.
But I've actually stopped counting calories for the most part. I automatically count calories in my head "so if this is 230 calories and I have half now it's 115..." But I no longer write them down. Which is actually a really good thing. And a little more progress.
I am still obsessed with numbers and counting and perfection but not writing them down (hopefully) is a step towards victory and I so desperately want it.
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